Rowen Cross 2nd - Season   Leighton Elliott 1st - Season

21 July 2009 - King's Sports Centre, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
"I'm a colossal pervert; animal, vegetable or mineral, I will do anything to anything" so said the baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells to Edmund Blackadder before threatening, with some obvious relish, to stick a red hot poker up the poor defaulters arse.  Understandably, a man with such liberal and religious tendencies is clearly a role model for the EB but even it would draw the line at abusing a teddy bear with only KY jelly for lubricant/dignity. 

However, a certain OB player, who for legal reasons can't be named (to protect the identity of the teddy bears) is less scrupulous and that's what make this current squad the best combination yet to win the title.  There's an edge to their game which may not always been there in the past seasons.

Tonight, the edge was needed against a very strong DMS side which had some familiar faces.  The OB diaspora has spread far and wide, including such glamorous places as Toronto, New Jersey, and Huddersfield but also more locally, Prospect with Stainrod and Ord, both of which were wearing the unfamiliar colours of DMS instead of the proud red of the Thistle Construction kit.  The EB, if it was a proper match report would have bothered to pay attention to the stats of DMS but instead lazy journalism means that it can only surmise that they have probably not been beaten, much, and if they have, it must have been a good game by a better side on the day.  The OBs on the other hand were coming into this off the back of four wins.  It was an important encounter, two top sides, both possibly unbeaten, surely this one would be streamed live on the internet?  Huddersfield now have electricity, even they could watch.  Sadly not, like many things in the life of the EB, the hype just didn't live up to the reality so it is likely that it is only ever going to be recorded in this format.  Which is good, because this is all true.  

The game started at a frenetic pace with both sides moving the ball quickly.  Each team was familiar with the other and the interpersonal battles were interesting.  Ord was the first to succumb to the eager refereeing and received a yellow for a tackle from behind that no one else believed was worthy of such draconian punishment.  It's great to see that even as an ex-OB he is still getting needlessly punished.  The first half continued with neither team giving much away although the OBs were probably edging the game.  They were having more shots, albeit wayward, and were controlling the possession better.  The goalkeeper was resolute, the defence was solid, the defensive midfielders tireless, the attacking midfielders creative and the forwards troubling.  It was almost ironic that they took the lead.  Roughead split the DMS open with the type of pass that Chris Waddle in his prime would have been envious of and Cross did the rest with a composed finish into the bottom corner.  It was a mellifluous move of almost poetic quality.  The only surprise was that the referees didn't find some reason to disallow it. 

At half time, a one goal advantage was a fair reflection and the instruction was to keep it tight, to keep the pressure and to keep fresh legs on by subbing.  Simple instructions.  Easy to understand.  An untrained monkey from the depths of the Amazon jungle who has never seen a human before, never mind a football, could have followed it.  Even Sives appeared to understand.  So it was no surprise that a hopeful punt forward by DMS, a staple of what turned out to be their second half game plan, was capitalised on following a defensive error and it was quickly 1-1.  This gave both teams a lift and what followed was good quality clean football where both teams played well in the spirit of what this league is all about.  Fortunately for the referees, there was little for them to do.  The EB was impressed by the quality and the spirit and it was pleasing to see.  It brought a tear to the eye of the most hardened cynics who said that football couldn't be beautiful.

Then, following strict instructions not to go forward and to protect the defence, Leighton Elliott drifted forward on the break, leaving the defence exposed.  Fortunately, the latest addition to the OB squad has the strength and skill to make things happen and that's what he did.  He pounced on a stray pass, drove forward to just outside the box and calmly but firmly hammered the ball into the bottom corner to score his first for the OBs and put them into the lead.  DMS were stunned but kept the pressure up and the OBs had little time to bask in the self satisfaction of a well taken goal and a period of sustained and good play.  To be fair to DMS, they continued to chase the game and albeit through a defensive blunder, they again equalised shortly before the end to tie the game at 2-2.  It was a fair result but disappointing to the team who had taken the lead twice and had failed to defend it twice. 

With a line up of high quality players to come back, the EB does fancy the OBs in any future encounter with DMS and is filled with hope by a very positive and skilful and determined performance.  Which is less than can be said for the teddy bears on the island who have no more hope.  Lock them up, there's a Wild Man with KY on the loose.