Richard Addison 3rd, 4th & 5th - Season   Tim Ludford-Thomas 5th & 6th - Season   Daniel Cummings 14th, 15th & 16th - Season   Paul Blenkinsop 4th - Season   Rowen Cross 3rd - Season

18 Aug 2009 - King's Sports Centre, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
In 1901 the stele containing the Code of Hammurabi was discovered, somewhat surprisingly by a Frenchman who generally exhibit more of a tendency towards smelly cheeses and learning how to surrender than real archaeology, although they were considered particularly good grave robbers at the time.

The Code was written approximately 1800 years before the stimulus for the Monty Python film The Life of Brian and was enacted by the sixth Babylonian king who gives his name to the text and in a fit of modesty not seen since T Elliott suggested he was quite good-looking, considered himself God's personal messenger. Obviously, not to be confused with The Melodians, Sublime or Boney M who simply sang about the rivers and were not kings themselves.

The Code is important because, amongst other things, it is the first official record of beer regulation, providing laws governing it's production and consumption in beer parlours and condemning miscreants to death for failing to follow. He was a reasonable ruler Hammurabi, he increased his kingdom by waging and winning bitter wars and as the Code shows, was a firm proponent of Lex Talionis (eye for an eye). He also went to school with Gaffing, who remembers that he had an almost freaky liking of cats, and was not very good at football. He is a firm favourite of the EB because he instigated the presumption of innocence, a technicality that has kept the EB out of many a cell and some of the OB players too. But for all his good works it's the regulation of beer production that brings him to mind as tonight's opponents, Caybrew, are gold medal winners in the Monde Selection Awards 2008, demonstrating that their smooth and refreshing pints are appreciated not only in the Cayman Islands, but the world over, for their quality and taste. The EB is not one to turn down a free plug, it lost it's innocence and shame that night in Bangkok, so is happy to extend an invite to any purveyor of alcohol: if you want to get your name mentioned in the finest match report, read by at least sixteen other deviants, send free samples.

With OBs lining up with almost their full strength squad, only T Elliot missing due to other club commitments and Chiazza out with a work retarded, sorry, related, injury, the result was almost a foregone conclusion. However, as is always the case in this league and it is a bitter lesson the OBs have learnt on many occasion, no game can be taken for granted, whether it is through a poor OB performance, an inspired opposition performance or questionable decision-making by the referees; nothing is guaranteed. Well, maybe the last bit is and also blatant attempts at robbery by Egyptian hoteliers but that's another story.

As students of ancient history and philosophy know, the Hammurabi Code sets out 282 laws, most of which were punishable by death. Obviously modern scholars can see the downfall of this eye and for an eye approach but, at the time, Hammurabi was something of a visionary and sadly many are still proponents of this draconian rule-setting and enforcement. Not the EB, it doesn't matter how many gallons of intoxicating and hypnotising liquids are quaffed or how much blue iguana dung is rolled and smoked, the EB is a proven pacifist and likes nothing more than laws being upheld and equitable punishment being delivered. As a Guardian reading, mother earth tree hugging, card carrying member of the liberals, the EB can see that an eye for an eye doesn't really work because you have to be sure of guilt and if it does stand a chance of working, the rules have to be absolute and adhered to strictly. There is no discretion but the eternal question is always who enforces these rules? The enforcers need to be strong and independent and just. The EB likes to think of the referees as such people, in this case, not enforcing an eye for an eye, if you kick me I kick you, but enforcing the rules of the game, in the spirit that they are intended to be enforced to help ensure maximum enjoyment in a safe environment for all. Maybe that's how the men in yellow "see" it. However, the EB is concerned that maybe they've extended the analogy too far; Justitia, a combination of Roman and Greek goddesses and in essence, the ancient spirit of modern day referees, carries a sword in one hand, symbolizing the power of reason and justice, a scales in the other upon which she measures the strength of a case's support and opposition and she is blindfolded to act objectively and without fear or favour. The EB can only think that the referees took the last bit literally and were wearing blindfolds that prevented them seeing and therefore not punishing at least one slide tackle from behind, several body checks near the boards and a succession of fouls from one of their defenders. As one of the OBs remarked in frustration "Do you think I throw myself on the floor for fun?"

Avoiding any obvious remarks relating to that comment about throwing themselves on the floor, the EB has seen the videos, the EB rarely gets serious and there is a serious point here. Transgression of rules deserves to be punished; it is a deterrent to others and punishes the wrong doer as well as providing protection and remediation to the wronged. It cannot be arbitrary; a foul is a foul. Yes they can be missed, that's inevitable in human nature, but when seen, they must be dealt with. There can be no consideration of result, or favouritism or size, a foul is a foul. There is of course the option to allow the play of the wronged player to continue if they have possession but at what point does that outweigh punishment? The OBs quickly secured the game last night; what advantage is given to them by not penalising the transgressors?

Hammurabi would have flogged several opposition players last night for challenges that bordered on assault and that when unpunished. Enough said, the OBs didn't get drawn in and let the football do the talking. Ten times they found the back of the Caybrew net and Caybrew were just unable to reply with the OBs defence earning their second successive clean sheet. It was a classic hard working team effort that should have resulted in more goals but for the profligacy around the Caybrew area, failure to keep to the formation at all times and a failure to make the last pass. This needs to be worked on in order to avoid future losses. Addison was the pick of the crop with two fine strikes from distance in the first half and a sublime lob in the second to give him his hat-trick and first man of the match title. His third was his second goal of the season contender in as many weeks as he had spotted the 'keeper off the line and coolly picked his spot. He was ably supported by the forwards, with Cummings bagging another hat-trick to add to his growing total of season and career goals and Ludford-Thomas grabbing two after his return from efficiency training camp in Germany. Cross and Blenkinsop rounded off the scoring with one apiece, capping off fine tireless performances from them both which saw them on the receiving end of several challenges that have no place on the football pitch.

Next week is a sterner test with the second game of the season against McAlpine. Fortunately, all of the OB players from tonight will be fit to play in that game, no thanks to the alleged defenders of the rules.