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7 JUL 2010- King's Sports Centre, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
It might have been because of a bang on the head but the EB woke up this morning feeling all Renaissance. And it wasn't an upscale development on SMB currently missing several plasmas courtesy of Clarke or a song sung with the seemingly cannily accurate lyrics of Mat Kearney or even because of the nightclub of the same name in Blythe where the EB first discovered Diesels. It was because, as David Bellamy would say, the EB had become a homo universalis, stop the sniggering, it means polymath, a person who has learned much, like Michelangelo, the original Renaissance Man. And thus the introduction is complete, but why?
When Michelangelo was commissioned to paint the inside of the Sistine Chapel (which the EB can say with first hand certainty is not all it's cracked up to be and the EB's camera wielding girlfriend who defied the almost satanic Canon sponsored prohibition to take pictures (something about copyright) has the pictures to prove it) he was told by his paymasters, "listen up Micky boy, we know you're a bit of a dab hand with the chisel but we want you to paint the twelve apostles on our ceiling and don't begin to ask why, we're Catholics, is that enough, we don't need to give answers." Now, Michelangelo, who at the time was gaining increasing praise for the beauty of his sculptures was somewhat caught between a lump of marble and a statue of David. He had turned his hand to painting but never on this scale before and he certainly had never been told specifically what to create. In response, he took four years to cover the ceiling in scenes from Genesis (the book not the band, although if you look closely, you can see Phil Collins coming in the air much to the disgust of Mary Magdalene), and got so carried away he even covered the wall behind the altar.
Whilst many people consider themselves ahead of their time, the EB has a more humble opinion and believes that as a true Renaissance Man they would have thrived in the period between the 14th and 17th Century where the darkness gave way to enlightenment and Stevie Gaffing was born. For it was in this period that the true definition of homo universalis really took shape and in the spirit of the time, the EB believed that all humans were empowered, limitless in their capacities for development, and therefore they should embrace all knowledge and develop their capacities as fully as possible.
Which really does now bring us to the match against BDO. Because, as a Renaissance Man, the EB watched with unabashed astonishment as the Old Boys showed themselves and their capacity as fully as possible. In a performance so tight it's Italian mother was still singing it's virgin like praises despite it having given birth to seven children, the OBs were rampant and scored every type of goal possible. Cummings, slow to start the season finally got off with a bang and netted four, including what is now a trademark cut in from the boards in the corner and hammering the ball into the roof of the net passed a statuesque keeper from the Raphael period, led the charge but was ably assisted by Addison who scored an early goal of the season contender. Henshaw, as cultured as ever in the middle of the park was bossing things in his languid almost lazy style when he passed to the advancing Addison who took the ball in his stride and with his first touch deflected Henshaws rocket into the top corner despite being heavily challenged by the defender. If Michelangelo had painted a goal, it really might have been this one. It had every thing. The OBs also scored with an easy finish for Elliot and to cap off a complete performance, an own goal from a hapless defender who turned a defensive clearance into his own net.
The EB was being entertained and it was a joy to watch, even the referees joined in watching, becoming spectators to the increasingly erratic challenges of BDO and forgetting to blow their whistles. As a man of culture and learning it was apparent that the success of this OB team was that they are full of sprezzatura. And again, stop the sniggering and avoid reference to Phil Collins or George Michael, it's a renaissance word meaning possessing a detached, cool, nonchalant attitude, having proper bearing, being athletic, and possessing many other skills, always without showy or boastful behaviour. Such talents should appear to others to be performed without effort, in a spontaneous and unstrained way, almost without thought; an epitome of the Old Boys.
And it was this that decided the match report for the EB. Like Michelangelo himself, the EB picks his topics and writes to them. If there's a game of football then that's a bonus, although if Elliot tries to claim two, then the ugly side of Renaissance Man comes out and it's every man for himself once the Diesels kick in. |
